# Social Category > General Chat Forum >  Attitude problem

## Dave A

Do people with a bad attitude think they have an attitude problem?

----------


## murdock

why you picking on me on a friday dave?  :Stick Out Tongue: 

ITS WEEKEND BABY...got so much to look froward to this weekend...machines are working in my workshop so i can make things...fellas are going fishing...this weekend is just gona be tooo short...i need about a 6 month weekend so i can catch up... :Cool:

----------

tec0 (02-Sep-11)

----------


## IanF

What is worse the bad attitude or the sickly sweet attitude. I get the urge to throttle the sickly sweet people I meet. :Embarrassment: 
I must then have an attitude problem.

----------


## wynn

Does the plumbers taps leak? the cobblers kids shoes have holes in? of course they don't know they have BA  :Wink:

----------


## Perform Computers

Dave I've noticed that people who have a bad attitude, usually play it off on, "I don't have a bad attitude, I just don't take crap from anyone".

It's like asking, "Do insane people know they're insane?" I firmly believe, a bad attitude is a bad attitude. There are things that everyone knows, which is common sense and general good manners.

Like greeting someone, even if you mad at them. I believe no matter how mad you are, it's common decency to greet someone.

Always say thank you, & mean it. Certain people think things are owed to them. ( I refer to my post on that friend wanting work issue ).

Respect the elderly. This one goes without saying.

Now some people think they're above this, hence the bad attitude.

So in a nutshell, people with bad attitudes generally think they're "standing up for themselves".

----------


## tec0

I am fully aware of my attitude towards others. But that said it boils down to circumstance. If a person reflects a bad attitude towards me I will do the same, a person reflects a good attitude towards me I will do the same.

----------


## gordo

I agree with tec0, respect is earned, and i wont treat somebody with respect if they cant do the same for me!

----------


## adrianh

> Do insane people know they're insane


This is a far more complex question than having a bad attitude.

Ok, things are never clear cut - define "A bad attitude"

My "Attitude" is very fluid and dependent on my mood. If I'm in a bad mood I will rip heads right off - I can take a lot of abuse when I'm in a good mood. (It is not a simple matter of saying one should do this or one should do that. We react instantaneously without thinking about it.)

There are character traits that some consider to be bad attitude but others consider it to be Assertive. I think it depends on the person with the attitude and the attitude of the person that is on the receiving side. A door to door salesman gets on my nerves for being overly pushy, yet he thinks it is the way to go, maybe he has learned to do it, or maybe it is his character.

There are no simple answers - do people that have a Bad Attitude know that they do - some do and some don't. A matter of nature vs nurture.

----------


## ColinK

I dont know,this is quite an interesting topic,i usaully intend to give respect first hand and be polite and nice and bla bla bla,but ive noticed 9 out of 10 times ppl take it for granted then speak to me as if they got balls and can talk anyway they want to,as if maybe they thought cuz im being so nice etc im a softy,this makes me very angry as would prob knock the living shit out of at least 8 of them but instead im just being nice...grrrrrr....makes me so upset

----------


## Justloadit

> If a person reflects a bad attitude towards me I will do the same, a person reflects a good attitude towards me I will do the same.


So if you meet yourself, which attitude is it gonna be?

----------

Dave A (03-Sep-11)

----------


## rfnel

I'll be the first to admit that my BS-tolerance can be low at times, but that is no excuse for treating others poorly.  As for respect being earned; I'll treat people with respect as soon as I meet them, and I try to make a point of treating cleaners and receptionists with the same respect as CEO's - there is no need to earn my respect before I'll start treating you well.  However, if someone proves that they're not worthy of respect, then respect goes out the door.  

As Adrian pointed out, one needs to take character traits (and cultural differences) into account before concluding whether or not someone has a bad attitude.  I conform to the programmer-stereotype in the sense of being introverted.  Based on their own personalities, extroverts can sometimes assume that introverts are rude, simply because we don't talk all that much. 

Lastly, there is no excuse for poor manners - 'please' and 'thank you' won't do any harm.

----------

Blurock (04-Sep-11)

----------


## Dave A

Yeah - I expect most of us have those bad moments that we have second thoughts about shortly after. But my line of thought is more around behaviour that we think is OK, but in reality genuinely isn't as OK as we think it is.

What got me thinking about this was the rram episode (this link doesn't really reflect the whole episode - but regular members should still recall the run). The kid was literally yelling "I don't have an attitude problem", and yet rather clearly he did.

My thought was we wouldn't do what we do on a regular basis if we didn't think it's OK to do it - and that applies to near anything and anyone.

So how do we know when we're fundamentally off-track and really need to revisit our paradigm of ourself?

While still maintaining the levels of self-belief it takes to get ahead in this world?

----------


## murdock

my understanding is manners are taught to you when growing up...something missing in a lot of households...starts at the kitchen table...not a place where many families spend their time eating...shovel grub in front of tv seems to be the norm (generalising)

attitude is more like a chip on your shoulder feel like you been hard done by and the world owes you...like your parents bringing you into this world.

respect is something earned over a period of time...sometimes bullies mistakenly think they have respect instead they have fear and like the saying goes live by the gun die by the gun...a person who is a bully would be left standing when the kak hits the fan...a person who has earned respect would have people die for him...

gladiator a good example...that fool who stabbed him while going up in the lift had an attitude problem and was a bully.

i have been told i have an atitude problem...thats why i was ragging dave...i have also been told i am a pesimist and a lot of other things...i am working on it...i do believe people can change if steered in the right direction.

----------


## Blurock

> If a person reflects a bad attitude towards me I will do the same, a person reflects a good attitude towards me I will do the same.


That is exactly the type of attitude that does more harm than good. It does not build relationships or improve conflict situations. 

When you treat people with respect, they will eventually respond positively. Even when you are right, you can change the mood by reacting positively. You do not have to win every argument. You do not have to get revenge. Apply the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."  :Flowers: 

Gandhi once said; "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind".   :Blushing:

----------


## adrianh

Attitudes change, perceptions change. I do not think that one should make a judgement based on one encounter. We all have bad days & good days, stresses and strains. I do agree with Blurock, the trick is to hold onto your own better attitude at all times (if you have such a thing) I for one, depending on my mood, could just strip! My own actions and reactions sometimes come as a surprise to me too (normally once I have insulted the other party so badly that they'll never speak to me again)...and yes, I know many blind people!

----------


## tec0

> So if you meet yourself, which attitude is it gonna be?


I am actually a very easygoing person so if I am to met myself it would be without incident.




> Do insane people know they're insane


Normally yes "because you get treatment" lots of pills and people starring at you while you pay them R650 an hour... And then they will ask questions and stuff. According to them "I am a few cards short of a full deck."  :Stick Out Tongue: 

My question is: What is "normal" anyway?  :Confused:

----------


## adrianh

> Normally yes


You you base this on what exactly?

----------


## Just Gone

Quote .... [If a person reflects a bad attitude towards me I will do the same, a person reflects a good attitude towards me I will do the same. ]

I think its a matter of showing a good attitude to people first not the above !

----------


## murdock

i spent a long time with a shrink...to try save my marrige...one day i asked the shrink to tell me if i was wasting my time and money...and eventuall i was told i am normal...yes then i wonder what is regarded as normal...as i have seen a distinct change and becoming somewhat of a softy...and yes i strongly believe people can change.

----------


## adrianh

Jacob Zuma, Julius Malema, Robert Mugabe, Adolf Hitler, Stalin and many others thought that they are perfectly normal. There was time when it was normal to burn witches at the stake. 

Even George W Bush must think that he is normal - he doesn't seem to realize that he has the IQ of an average garden variety eggplant!

Shows you hey, "normal" is defined by the society at the time.

----------


## twinscythe12332

normality is a distortion via perception. The perceptions of those around you influence your thoughts and thus what you perceive may not be normal to you. This would explain why some people suddenly look around and realise they're standing over the guy who was running his mouth earlier, while others seek to take a more tactful position.
In the end, it's your values that count for/against you in those situations.

----------

Blurock (06-Sep-11), tec0 (05-Sep-11)

----------


## adrianh

Ag ou broer, I just wanted to know how you came to your conclusion?

----------


## mother

I don't think that people with bad attitudes know that they have bad attitudes. I believe you judge your own actions based on what you perceive to be right and wrong, given your blueprint (i.e. the example you grew up with). Your blueprint is so intricately woven into your character, like it or not, that you can't really remove yourself from it to adopt a whole different set of values. Therefore, each person's definition of "bad" would necessarily be the opposite of his own definition of "good", and his own perception of "good" would obviously include whatever actions and reactions were always "acceptable", as per the example he saw throughout his childhood.

So then, what I consider "bad", is not necessarily the same as what you consider "bad".

----------


## mother

Oops, I wasn't finished...  :Smile: 

Still, every culture has a general standard of acceptable behaviour. And within your culture, I would hope that all parents raise their children according to that standard. Behaviour like disrespect, vandalism, bullying, laziness, etc (i.e. behaviour that harms another person or harms society), is generally taboo in most cultures. And where an individual displays this kind of behaviour, without any sense of wrongdoing, (unless he is a certified sociopath/psychopath) I blame the parents. Either the parents displayed the same behaviour, therefore showing by example that it is acceptable, or the parents neglected to discipline the child, thus allowing taboo behaviour to become acceptable.

----------

Blurock (06-Sep-11)

----------


## Dave A

> I blame the parents.


Kinda took a while for the thread to wander to this point. Well worth the journey, though. Lots of great posts to chew over.

While I agree that parenting is the starting point, it certainly isn't the end of it - *especially* when it comes to bad attitude problems.

Fact is people *do* change their behaviour based on repeated feedback and results. The problem with bad attitude is most times people avoid giving the feedback needed because of the consequences. And worse still - most often having a bad attitude means people get their own way.

The hard truth I'm seeing is all too often modern society inadvertently rewards bad attitude.

So is it too much to conclude that one of the greatest flaws of modern civilisation is it actually *encourages* bad attitude?

----------


## Dave S

My boss could be considered to have an 'attitude'. He tends to ramble on about topics and changes the topic before anyone has offered a response, if he is interupted then the "interuptee" is told they are rude. However, had this person not interupted, the debate would have included only the bosses opinion. Is this typical of many persons holding positions of leadership, generally considering that they have the correct answers and that subordinates are not as informed or knowlegable and therefore not capable of offering an alternative point of view?

I always insist on treating the CEO with the same attitude as I would the Gardener, simply because both have a valid point of view. Is it disrespectful to consider people as complete equals whether they are a CEO or a Mechanic?

----------


## Dave S

> I blame the parents.


I don't fully blame the parents, yes they set up the basic behaviour of the child, but the decision to carry a bad attitude was the individuals decision. Besides, parenting doesn't come with a handbook...

----------


## tec0

I wouldn't prejudge someone. When you are in my line of work it is difficult not to prejudge people. So I started reading books about people's behaviour and the like. I found that half of those books were absolute rubbish!  Fact is normal for you and normal for me are not the same thing. There is no principal formula for behaviour thus I based my decision and attitude on the information that is available to me.

I can say it works. It works very well. People in my line of work is normally hated. I am one of the few safety officers that got recommendations from both the company's management and the employees. Sadly my own manager hated me so I am back fixing scrapper PC's but the idea is sound.

----------


## adrianh

> And where an individual displays this kind of behaviour, without any sense of wrongdoing, (unless he is a certified sociopath/psychopath) I blame the parents. Either the parents displayed the same behaviour, therefore showing by example that it is acceptable, or the parents neglected to discipline the child, thus allowing taboo behaviour to become acceptable.


...and if the person is 35 years old?


My parents were perfectly good - my brother and sister grew up to do very well. I couldn't care less, doesn't what my parents said, I did what I wanted to. What I am saying is that people make their own choices irrespective of what the parents say or do. Parents can only advise, they cannot mould their children to their own likeness!

----------


## wynn

I believe that your first reaction to someone with a bad attitude is to mirror them.
So if I aproach you with a query or request and you give me BA I will respond negatively.
The only time I will deal in future is if you are the only person with that product or skills that I need otherwise it is off to the opposition I go, provided they have a better attitude.

You will probably sit there wondering why nobody wants to do business with you getting a worse attitude about people.

Remember the customer may be an Ar$#ole but he is always right!

----------


## Blurock

> I don't fully blame the parents, yes they set up the basic behaviour of the child, but the decision to carry a bad attitude was the individuals decision. Besides, parenting doesn't come with a handbook...


The gurus tell us that character is formed in early childhood. So the parents, as well as the social environment has a lot to do with the child's development. It is therefore difficult to understand how (let's say good parents) can have both "good and bad" children. One may become a minister and the other would possibly land in jail. 

Not easy to be a parent and not easy to be a child. Strong value systems may compensate for this.

----------

mother (08-Sep-11)

----------


## murdock

so where does the frog and the scorpion fit into all this...i am sure you know this story...cut it short....the frog gives the scorpion a lift across the river but kills the frog on the other side...it in his nature...you dont think its just in some peoples nature to be Aholes...with bad attitude...or come into money and think the world owes them big time...i believe this discussion is a lot simpler than we think...you could be born with a chemical imbalance which just makes you the kind of person you are...in saying that i dont have a degree in human behaviour.

----------


## mother

> What I am saying is that people make their own choices irrespective of what the parents say or do. Parents can only advise, they cannot mould their children to their own likeness!


You know, Adrian, a lot of kids rebel against their parents, and it's a necessary part of maturing for certain personality types. But I don't see how rebellious behaviour is the same as having a bad attitude. Rebellious behaviour (mostly) boil down to actions aimed at oneself, i.e. searching for an identity, exploring the validity of rules & limitations, etc. A bad attitude, on the other hand, has to do with one's actions towards other people.

Most rebellious behaviour eventually come to an end, as the individual "finds his identity" and settles into maturity ... then, 99% of the time, that person returns to his blueprint (his roots).

Don't you agree? Didn't you eventually settle and become a version of your parents?

Parents shouldn't only advise, they should make the rules, enforce the rules and lead by example.

----------


## adrianh

No, I don't agree with you at all. I was rebellious and I still have a very nasty / vindictive streak (unlike my parents). Up until I was about 40, I would be fine one moment and totally explode the next. I would wake up with a thunder cloud in my head and I would let rip at whoever crossed my path. That is exactly why I agreed with murdock regarding the chemical imbalance (imbalance or chemical state at the time) . I calmed down quite a bit over the years but I can still get very very angry.

Our mental & physical machinery is very sensitive to our own chemisty (which is also fairly volitile). Our mental machinery is also dependent on our wiring and the interaction between the wiring and chemistry. Our neurotransmitters and brain chemicals (Seretonin, Dopamine, Norepinephrine) regulate our moods. Moods and what we consider to be attitudes, are closely related. Another interesting fact is that our sexual function is also heavily controlled by the same chemicals). Depression (which a lot of people would consider to be a negative attitude) is mostly a function of those three chemicals. Happy go lucky people (who are said to have good positive attitudes may have a lot of dopamine floating around). Why does Prozac and other SSRI's make people feel happier and reflect "better attitudes"?; for the same reason, they simply adjusts the volume / re-uptake of those chemicals in the brain. This shows that what people perceive as attitudes may lie in moods which lie in chemistry. Another interesting fact is that chemicals such a Lamotrigine (which is known as a sodium channel blocker) can totally suppress emotion which of course is used as a mood stabilizer.

The notion of finding one's identity is also a misnomer. I have changed radically over the years. What is my identity - can't really say, I consider myself to have many different facets. Look, I spent a lot of time with wayward people that got off the rails for whatever reason. None of them were versions of their parents.

My wife isn't a version of her parents, to the contrary, she is probably opposite to her parents. My brother is nothing like my father or mother. My girls have elements of my wife & I. My youngest daughter is like me in certain respects. She is fearless to a degree of being reckless. She gets very cross and does things without thinking, she gets into trouble for saying nasty things, because her autonomous mind reacts before her forebrain processes. My eldest is nothing like me or my wife. She is very sharp, she has a tremendous memory and she speaks faster than my wife or I can understand.

What I am saying is that we inherit as much mental character traits from our parents as we do physical likeness. One can sometimes see a genetic resemblance between parents and kids but not a version of your parents. You must also remember that our minds are not horizontal. What I mean is that all experiences do not have equal weight in determining how we make decisions. Our minds are like low grade onions, memories and event build upon one another and those memories are not static, cast in an exact replica of reality, forever. This can be proved quite simply by the fact that 3 people recall the same event in different ways and as time passes that recollection changes and fades. Another thing is that we short circuit memories and training. When I ask you what 7 x 7 is you say its 49. You didn't do the calculation at the speed of light, you simply short circuited the question to the answer. Think about great musicians, they don't have to wonder where the keys are on the keyboard, their feeling for the music becomes hard wired into the circuits that drive & guide their hands. Most people that are very very good at things can't explain how they do it. This is also why the best athletes don't make the best coaches, because they simply can't explain how the short circuiting is put together. Ok, so where does it leave our mental states / attitudes. We do the same, we short circuit our training / memories. 

Lets say a girl gets taught to be a prude because her mother is a prude, the day she gets out the house she might become a total slag. If what you say is true then there would be not be prostitutes that come from good homes roaming the street. I have a friend, all she ever wanted to do was be a concert pianist. Her parents told her that she is wasting her time and she should get a real job. She was an only child and when left school she took a loan and studied music. She got a masters degree in music and when she completed her studies, she got on a plane on the 29th of January 1995 to go to London to play the piano. She never ever spoke to her parents again. She is a lovely person, who hates her parants to such a degree that she will never speak to them again.

The bottom line is that nothing in life is black and white nor simple. Life comes in shades of grey and is fuzzy and fluid. We evolve on a daily basis. The problem is that people who live in a black & white world do not see he changes in themselves. They believe that their mental machinery is cast in stone and never changes. The ones that spent their lives fighting with their own mental states are able to look inwards and see the changes, and because of this are able to see the changes in others. 

So, I will say without a  doubt that my own attitudes towards various issues & people have changed over the years (I won't use the word matured because that is also a fallacy) the fact that one holds a particular view of the world (that is generally similar to that of your society) by no means mean that it is mature. Anyway, what is mature thinking, how can a person profess to have mature thinking if they have never spent any time thinking about thought processes, about what makes us tick, they've never read any classics, philosophy, they've never experienced real tragedy nor the anguish of others. All they did was spend their lives in their closed societal worlds. No, I think that our thinking / attitudes evolve and we grow older.




> Parents shouldn't only advise, they should make the rules, enforce the rules and lead by example.


This is very noble but again, life doesn't work that way. Parents can only make rules to a limited degree, kids have minds of their own and will explore simply because it comes naturally. Why do girls get pregnant at 16 when it goes against all that their parents teach and stand for, why do 16 year old boys take their parents cars for a spin in the middle of the night even though their parents have all sorts of rules regarding such matters. Then the matter of parents leading by example, you know, a bad example can also be a good example of how not to do things. All parents have failings and do things that one shouldn't really do in front of kids. I strip when a taxi gets in my way, a get into an argument with the guy, my girls see the results and never do the same. My wife's parents did a hell of a lot of drinking and fighting, she never ever drinks or fights. Leading by example when you are out of step with reality and the times could be very problematic. You don't like cell phones with cameras because in your day you didn't have such thing. Your example is to only use the cellphone as a tool and not to go into facebook etc. Of course, when the kids get to school they spend the entire break buggering around on the phones with their friends. The young boys take photographs of all sorts of interesting things that they pass along to one another (which the parents don't know about)

Kids have minds of their own, the best we can do is to teach, to learn, to share, yes to make rules within reason, to pick them up when they stumble, but most of all; to be available and support them in their quest to become who they are (even if we don't agree with who they are!)

God forbid my kids become like me - (I'll never forget what my father told me - he said; whatever you do, don't be like me)

----------

Blurock (09-Sep-11), Dave A (09-Sep-11)

----------


## wynn

So adrianh I take it you are bi-polar with multiple personality disorder?   :Wink:    just like me except that I also have a laissez faire streak and an early f#*kit threshold

----------


## Blurock

:Big Grin: Wow, what a mouthful. Adrian, you should have been a shrink!

----------


## adrianh

I can asure you, I think the way I do not for a lack of having to deal with my own issues!

----------


## murdock

i do believe that things that happen in your life s a child stay with throughout your life...like my eating disorder...just one example we were not allowed to leave the table until our plate was clean...if we did not eat all our food we were beaten until we did or left at the table until all the food was finished...the scary thing is my dog wouldnt even eat the food i fed him under the table to help me finish...our parents and the way they bring you us up during our childhood do make a huge impact on our lives be it positive or negative.

----------


## adrianh

@wynn

hmmm....seems rather problematic...

Question: What Is Laissez-Faire Leadership?

Answer: Laissez-faire leadership, also known as delegative leadership, is a type of leadership style in which leaders are hands-off and allow group members to make the decisions. Researchers have found that this is generally the leadership style that leads to the lowest productivity among group members.

...
Sounds like South African democracy!

----------


## tec0

If you control your anger... People think "pushover" 
If you don't control your anger... People think "Jerk" 
If your attitude is "easy going" People abuse it. 
If your attitude stinks "Hard core style" You are unemployed. 

Fact is: You cannot please everyone. 
Fact is: You will be judged by others. 
Fact is: Nothing you ever do will be right. 

Advice: Happy pills, anger management and a false smile.

And above all PRETEND " Make believe works  :Fish:  "

----------


## Just Gone

Quote [tec0


 If you control your anger... People think "pushover" ]


Nope dont agree.  You can control your anger, control yourself totally - and be a stong person .... even a leader !  But certainly not a pushover.  Trust me I'm not a "pushover"

----------


## Blurock

Agree with Kevinb. Iron fist in the velvet glove. Not pretending - the other guy will know exactly where he stands. You do not have to shout to get a point across. (I still sometimes struggle with that one) It shows breeding.

----------


## tec0

> Nope dont agree.  You can control your anger, control yourself totally - and be a stong person .... even a leader !  But certainly not a pushover.  Trust me I'm not a "pushover"


Attitude good or bad comes down to the one factor one cannot control, as mentioned before it is how others perceive one. One can have the best attitude in the world and someone will still find a way to judge. 

Pretending is a coping mechanism, granted it is not always the best way to deal with a situation. I will agree with that. But there is no-way for a person to control what another thinks of her or him, there is always a degree of judgement. 

Some of the ways you can deal with it is to react and adapt according to the situation. If it calls for being jerk then do so. If it calls for savvy and finesse then do so. No two situations are the same so one cannot deal with them in the same-way.

----------


## adrianh

> Attitude good or bad comes down to the one factor one cannot control, as mentioned before it is how others perceive one. One can have the best attitude in the world and someone will still find a way to judge.


Interesting, but generally attitudes are measured against acceptable social norms. (An acceptable attitude towards women in some countries is not accpetable elsewhere)

An attitude is defined as "A settled way of thinking or feeling, typically reflected in a person's behavior" which implies that it coverers general behaviour over a period of time, rather than single events. "Sy kop het uitgehak" does not constitute an attitude.

----------


## tec0

An attitude in general comes down to behaviour, morality and general laws. That said emotion and experience are what makes us human. If by experience one believes he/she lives in a world that doesn't give a damn that doesn't necessarily point to them having an automatic "bad attitude" morality or the lack there off will be a contributing factor for it controls behaviour to a degree. Behaviour on the other hand is also controlled "directly by law" 

Fact is, today some behaviour is frowned upon and yet some time ago it was perfectly acceptable. In the early years of human evolution killing people in public via torture was considered entertaining. Today it is illegal to rip someone apart or have them devoured by a lion for entertainment.

So attitude is a complex mental state. But be careful not to become to judgemental.

Sometimes someone may have a slight mental condition and they do not always display a perfect image of who they are.

----------


## Just Gone

> Sometimes someone may have a slight mental condition and they do not always display a perfect image of who they are.


I think everyone to some degree has a "slight mental condition" ..... :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

----------


## wynn

I often wonder how many of Ceasars enemies were slipped in among the Christians and fed to the lions?

----------


## tec0

> I think everyone to some degree has a "slight mental condition" .....


Up to a point yes, everybody has some character flaw, and yes that flaw will be exploited. That said you get those that cannot control aggression for example. Thus people see them as trouble makers or even say "they have a bad attitude" because aggression is easily connected to one's attitude. 

However "speaking only from personal experience" aggression is probably one of the more difficult emotional factors to control because it is so very easy to lose oneself and basically just see red.  It takes years to get under control. But that is not to say the person has a bad attitude rather a more severe character flaw.

----------


## Just Gone

@ tec ........ reading into your posts from the other thread and this one - that you have had a bit of a "run" in with either an empoyer or someone and you "lost" it ........... thereby the aggression from "your personal experience".  I think you are the one that needs to "control" it boet !! I'm sure as you get older the control will happen more naturally and you will perhaps see things in a different light !
My wife in her business has come across a lot of people ... perhaps like you, perhaps not, who think that the world "owes" them - unfortunately all of them are the same ..... they get no-where - they dont get past the first interview stage - sometimes they dont even get to the first interview !

----------


## tec0

That wasn't really my intend or motive for using anger as an example. I used anger as an example for all of us or most would have some experience thus allowing to relate. To make a logical or causal connection thus allowing for insight. 

I believe everyone had the odd word to say in a traffic-jam or perhaps when dealing with someone at the municipality and or bank. That said, people will judge, one will not be able to change their minds and or perspectives regardless of right or wrong. 

it is just human nature I guess.

----------


## tec0

> @ tec ........ reading into your posts from the other thread and this one - that you have had a bit of a "run" in with either an empoyer or someone and you "lost" it ........... thereby the aggression from "your personal experience".  I think you are the one that needs to "control" it boet !! I'm sure as you get older the control will happen more naturally and you will perhaps see things in a different light !
> 
> My wife in her business has come across a lot of people ... perhaps like you, perhaps not, who think that the world "owes" them - unfortunately all of them are the same ..... they get no-where - they dont get past the first interview stage - sometimes they dont even get to the first interview !


Didn't I apologise for the previous post? It was in writing formal and I took it to heart. But if that is not good enough for you then there is not much more I can do. I find that you and adrianh continue to attack me on almost every post now. I can only imagine that your intend is to make me so negative that I leave thus you being the victor. 

I really didn't want to post something like this, that said the attacks I had to date justifies me asking you; Do you have a problem with me? Maybe you are too big a man to not accept apologies?  

Clearly you wish to continue this behaviour but it would be an reflection on you.  I believe it was adrianh "when I considered him to be a friend" he told me once; (If you walk past a barking dog it says everything about the dog and nothing about the person) It is not the exact sentence but it will do.

I am sorry but these attacks will not do.

However that said I will give you your victory.  :Surrender:  

I just wonder who is next?  :Detective: 

enjoy  :Innocent:

----------


## Blurock

Our self-esteem is sometimes our own downfall. We may think that people perceive us or judge us in a certain way, when in reality we may not even be noticed at all. A poor self image or over confidence may have the same negative outcomes. :Embarrassment: 

This reminds me of the joke about the rep who had a flat tyre way out in the boendoe. He realised that he did not have a jack or tools to change the tyre. As it was late at night, the chances of someone passing was remote.

He saw a light in the distance and decided that it must be a farm and he should go there to ask the farmer for help. On the way there he said to himself that farmers go to bed early. So this farmer will not be very happy to be woken in the middle of the night. He may also be mistaken for a burglar and may get shot at. :Mad: 

As these thoughts milled in his head, the problem got bigger and the farmer got meaner. So by the time the rep eventually reached the farmhouse, he was very worked up and nervous, but knocked on the door never the less.  :Huh: 

As the farmer opened the door, he let go and shouted;" You can take your #@&! jack and your &%#$@ whell spanner and shove it up your @#$!& !!!! :Yikes:

----------


## tec0

I get where you coming from Blurock, but most of the attacks are on black and white and not in my head. 

Love the joke  :Smile: 

Enjoy sir.  :Wave:

----------


## Just Gone

lol @ Blurock.
@ tec .......... no one is "attacking" you - grow up !

----------


## tec0

No need, you made up your mind, as did I. Talk about growing up, humility is also one of life's lessons. Sometimes being humble is a good way to go. 

Enjoy the forum Kevinb there are good people here.

----------

Blurock (22-Sep-11)

----------


## Just Gone

thanks tec  :Smile:

----------


## Connor

I think, they're completely aware about it, but they think it's too late for them to change or they just wanted to stay like a-holes forever..

----------

