# Administration Category > Administrative issues >  When is enough enough?

## tec0

It has become increasingly easy for users to demonise someone and basically they will attack each and every post turning every conversation onto rant. 

When is enough enough? I can no longer write freely I can no longer enjoy the forum and I believe that I am not just speaking for myself and if I am so be it. I think a lot of people would agree that there was a time where things where nice but not anymore. 

If I am to blame then so be it ban me and get it over with. But we have to tolerate discrimination, hate speech and demoralizing debates each and every time we log on then I see no point in doing so. 

These people will shoot down anything and everything always trying to provoke and I must say they are very successful at it. But why is it us that get silent and not them? 

Clearly a decision was made and I guess if we dont conform we will continue to be victimized to a degree that a letter like this is called for. 

I am seriously done trying to fight against 3 or more individuals that just want to twist and make bad everything we write. Truth is freedom of speech and opinion is one thing but attacking someone outright to a degree that we have to resort to the same tactics is beyond my comprehension. 

I am not here to fight everyday but they demand it and they dont get warned or anything. So now I leave Admin with this letter. I may be the first but I will not be the only. There will be others that feel this beyond debate. 

There are many examples that I am not going to list them all but I feel there is enough there to see who starts the fight. Yes I dont tolerate discrimination or hate speech especially if people will go as far as to dehumanize someone. So I leave this in your hands... Ban me if you want things will go well for a while till they find the next person they don't agree with.  

Do what you wish I am done.

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## Dave A

OK - here's a suggestion - 

*Try to post in any particular thread a maximum of twice a day.*
I suspect you'll be surprised at the difference it will make.

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## tec0

I will reduce my frequency of posts and as well as new Thread to a minimum.

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## HR Solutions

Here's another suggestion - try to respect other peoples opinions or their knowledge.

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## tec0

> Here's another suggestion - try to respect other peoples opinions or their knowledge.


You have done nothing to earn my respect. 




> Thank you very much.  I am trying to narrow down exactly what I need.  Is there a test that *can pick up dyslexia* ??





> Yes they do Ian, and yes some do get past the starting blocks.  But a lot of our work is done on a computer and an online package whereby you enter and work on candidates cv's on line, enter clients details etc, so they may have filled in a two page form correctly because they perhaps spent a few more minutes working on it, but then find out that she cannot spell correctly etc etc, either because she is rushed or they may be dyslexic etc etc.  So I am trying to find an online test whereby we can try to pick theses things up earlier.  have found some very basic ones which are not suitable *because if you have half a brain cell for eg you can figure out* the correct answers, so preferably need a test that can test* Apptitude, dyslexia and IQ* as well where we can test them at an interview stage.

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## Dave A

> Here's another suggestion - try to respect other peoples opinions or their knowledge.


Trying to test tec0's willpower already?

EDIT: Oh dear  :No: 

You can't expect help if you don't give help a chance...

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## pmbguy

I wonder what the common denominator is :Confused:

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## Citizen X

> OK - here's a suggestion - 
> 
> *Try to post in any particular thread a maximum of twice a day.*
> I suspect you'll be surprised at the difference it will make.


In fact please come and chill in the ‘old school music is cool thread,’ anytime you like. You’ll find it refreshingly different! And remember you get to decide to what post you want to respond to or simply let the passage of time(excuse the pun..it's the prescription thing!) let that post gather dust :Big Grin:  

You and you alone decide how you going to react. Noone can actually extort a reaction or response from you! 

If you don't react to certain posts and simply do your thing and make your contribution then it's actually of no significant consequence that anybody else is indifferent.

There's so many different forum aspects to TFSA, i'm only beginning to explore them and I like what I see. Simply explore the so many other rooms in this big house, hell, I'm going to!

 :Offtopic: 
Abraham Lincoln said "A house divided against itself cannot stand." TFSA is one house, it’s one organisation that you are all members of. Use the tools at your disposal that TFSA offers to make whatever meaningful contribution you wish you make, and I personally know that you can make a great contribution as you have always been doing.

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## desA

Why not set up a specific thread each day, to let off steam. With Dave's permission, of course.

Example : 

The rant at hijacking of SA's new school education system thread?

People start a thread, hoping to extract good ideas & engage others of like mind in doing so.
A few decent posts - the rest degrades into a mine's longer than yours contest.
Blah.. blah... blah...
Some folks have absolutely no manners
Blah.. blah... blah...
Kicked the dog, he bit me back
Blah... blah... blah...
Too bad that SA's next generations will end up eating sand.
Blah... blah... blah...

Feel so much better now!!!   :Thumbup:

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## HR Solutions

I wonder how he came to the conclusion our tests had anything to do with him .....?????

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## adrianh

Even better, have a special thread dedicated to whinging and whining about how unfair life is. About how one has no choices, no control and no responsibility for ones own lot in life. One could also talk about how terrible government / schooling / education / employers / labour brokers / HR consultants / men / women / ag sommer alles... is. One could then add an ancillary discussion about how terrible all the participants taking part in the discussion are, how insensitive they are and how stupid they are. The ancillary discussion should only focus on the individuals and on nothing else.

We could also have treads dedicated to agreeing with whatever the "master plan" is:

(The rant at hijacking of SA's new school education system thread?
People start a thread, hoping to extract good ideas & engage others of like mind in doing so.)

I mean really, why would one want to hear views that are different to the "master plan" view. Lets all agree to whatever is said and not think about other sides of the coin. We could design a rocket ship to go to Saturn while we're at it and not worry to much about real world issues. 

Aye, I'm game, let's go for it, I'll tie one hand behind my back and stand on one leg while we all "agree and chant around the bonfire" ...oh sorry..."debate"

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## Dave A

> I wonder what the common denominator is


I suggest basically this -



> tec0 - you seriously need to get in touch with reality.





> The reality is this...


Essentially a failure to seriously allow for all the other realities out there that differ significantly from your own. The problem is aggravated when the protagonists become so fixated and post at such a rate, they don't allow the time for others to introduce more perspective to the discussion.

Individuals slowing down their post rate in a thread where they're becoming... overly engaged... will make a difference - it'll allow a broader perspective a chance to pop up and sink in.

Hence my appeal to slow down when you're getting caught up in the heat of the moment, which is certainly a lot easier to actually execute than another solution, being _don't take criticism personally_ (which I entirely understand is not easy at times).

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desA (05-Nov-13)

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## pmbguy

Dave - as Diplomatic and Correct as always

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## HR Solutions

Yep ....... But not always the solution.  But anyway. ......

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## adrianh

You know, I teach my girls many things, a couple spring to mind;
1. There will always be somebody in life that tries to get the better of you. You need to choose your battles and be certain that the battle serves to win the war, otherwise it is just a waste of energy.
2. Some people love to poke you with a stick just to get a reaction, you choose to react, nobody forces you. If you don't react they lose interest and go elsewhere.
3. You need to choose whose opinions you value, many people say many things and most of it is just noise, you cannot allow your life to be ruled by noise.
4. When somebody is nasty to you you've got to learn how to deal with it yourself, we are not always at your side to  take care of it. You are growing up to be adults, take responsibilty and stand on your own two feet.
5. Learn the following adage and apply it throughout your life 'stick and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me'

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## tec0

The outcome was as predictable as I thought it would be. People post exactly what I thought they would.

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## HR Solutions

Yep probably had enough whining and complaining I would sapy.

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## adrianh

I suppose I see the world largely through what I try to instil in my kids. You know, the 12 year old is an avid horse rider. She rides horses that are way bigger than her. Her attitude towards it is this, she will keep trying until she masters the art, she goes for lessons once a week and she begs us to go work on the farm. She works on the farm, yes she does pick up horse crap, wash them groom them and clean tack. She has never asked to be paid or complained about the work she does on the farm. My wife and the owner-ess of the farm, an 84 year old spinster who runs the farm with an iron fist, have a standing arrangement that she will go to the farm and help if ever the lady needs her. She spends most Sundays there and she spends 70% of her holiday time at the farm. The old lady lets my daughter ride a bit after work as a reward and that is reward enough for her to work her butt off. She does show jumping and often falls, she shakes off the dust and gets back on, aches and pains or not. She has never ever said that she is scared of a horse or that she is scared of falling. She simply says that she needs to control the horse better. Now the thing is this, I live with a wife who is ultra driven, she gets up at 5am and goes to sleep at 11pm, no complaints, she does what she does because that is the way she is. My daughters are both provincial skaters and of course the little one terrorizes farm animals. I am simply unwilling to accept that one has no control over one's destiny, if a 12 year old can pick up horse crap all day long on the off chance that she gets to ride a bit then I think that those who do nothing but complain need to look within and see where the real problem lies.

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HR Solutions (05-Nov-13)

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## desA

> Essentially a failure to seriously allow for all the other realities out there that differ significantly from your own. The problem is aggravated when the protagonists become so fixated and post at such a rate, they don't allow the time for others to introduce more perspective to the discussion.
> 
> Individuals slowing down their post rate in a thread where they're becoming... overly engaged... will make a difference - it'll allow a broader perspective a chance to pop up and sink in.
> 
> Hence my appeal to slow down when you're getting caught up in the heat of the moment, which is certainly a lot easier to actually execute than another solution, being don't take criticism personally (which I entirely understand is not easy at times).


Very wide words, Dave.

The concept of trying not to get caught up in the rush of the moment is a very valid one.

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## tec0

Fighting the good fight is all that matters. There is no history, no tomorrow, no today if you are not willing to step-up and stand-up for what is right and just, then what are you doing? As this mentality slowly gains momentum you will see change. People will no longer conform because there is no place for them in your perfect world. 

Well this world isn’t perfect nor is humanity. So just because we have flaws and perform a tiny bit slower than the average now we are not allowed to live! What is the point of technology then? Why have spell-check, voice to text and other such technology? 

If you want to use test and other such systems to rob people from a chance. If you are to greedy to narrow minded to implement the absolute basics. Then you are part of a growing problem. Like a cancer you just grow and grow and grow consuming healthy flesh and blood turning it into a useless lump filled with decay death not unlike a poison. 

Tell you what reward is what you make of it. For some it is riding a horse for someone else it is handing out free hot soup on a cold dark night. A job is simply a way to earn as is a business or enterprise. But as most people know it is no longer a game of wealth rather a game of sustainability.

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Citizen X (05-Nov-13)

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## adrianh

So why don't you start a little business and make some money or create a sustainable little vegetable garden. There are hundreds of people selling all sorts of stuff at robots, why don't you make something that they can sell.

My point is this: in the words of NIKE: Just Do It

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## vieome

> Well this world isn’t perfect nor is humanity. So just because we have flaws and perform a tiny bit slower than the average now we are not allowed to live! What is the point of technology then? Why have spell-check, voice to text and other such technology?


 I have avoided this thread but now feel compelled to add my 2 cents.

Firstly tec0 as you want others to allow you to express your opinion, so must you allow them to express theirs. Secondly when rubbed the wrong way in post, you have a choice to respond or not, and your many post suggest that you do see a cause and effect in this world, so practice it. Sometimes the best response is no response. You see many things as predictable, so exercise that authority, if you know the direction the thread is going, back up a bit so that it does not go in that direction. 

Another thing I want to point out, is that I am myself am a dyslexic typist, when I write on paper, grammer and spelling, punctuation are correct, but when typing that goes out the window. On an added note However not knowing the difference between There, They're, Their is not dyslexia, that is just not knowing the rules .



http://www.theretheyretheir.com/
There

Use there to refer to a physical or abstract place. Usually, if you can replace there with here in the same sentence, and it still makes sense, then you are using it correctly.
Examples

"There is an old haunted house."

"We are going over there to eat."
They're

Use they're as a contraction for they are. Usually, if you can replace they're with they are in the same sentence, and it still makes sense, then you are using it correctly.
Examples

"They're coming over for dinner."

"I wonder who they're talking to."
Their

Use their to show possession, commonly followed by a noun. Usually, if you can replace their with our in the same sentence, and it still makes sense, then you are using it correctly.
Examples

"Their dog is pretty awesome."

"Have you seen their new store?"

However it is well known 

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.


Like they say, enough is enough but it takes two to tango.

But if you continue to feel attacked in this unfair world, just know no matter how bad things get it could always be worse, or better depending how you interpret it

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HR Solutions (05-Nov-13), pmbguy (05-Nov-13)

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## tec0

> I have avoided this thread but now feel compelled to add my 2 cents.
> 
> Firstly tec0 as you want others to allow you to express your opinion, so must you allow them to express theirs. Secondly when rubbed the wrong way in post, you have a choice to respond or not, and your many post suggest that you do see a cause and effect in this world, so practice it.


I dont mind if people get creative or write about their concerns. They dont need my permission and if it is within my capability to help I will give my input and research the topic at hand. But this is not about people having there say. 

This is about people wanting to break everything down and twist words to turn it into something ugly. That is not cool by any standard.

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## Dave A

> Yep ....... But not always the solution.  But anyway. ......


Agreed. And as one of the protagonists, would you mind helping too please?




> This is about people wanting to break everything down and twist words to turn it into something ugly. That is not cool by any standard.


Actually, for the rest of us this isn't just about you. Using Adrian's analogy of his daughters, it's about their friends coming over, and a few of them repeatedly getting into brawl after brawl all over the house.

And every time you've got the one kid standing there with clenched fists going "they started it", and the others kids going  :Innocent: 
(and full of sage advice for "angry kid" too  :Stick Out Tongue:  )

Wouldn't be too much of a problem for the rest of us and we could leave them to settle their differences eventually - except for the trail of destruction through the house this on-going rolling brawl leaves in its wake.

Of course we could banish them, except that we can see they're actually great kids...
... at least when they're not slugging it out with each other.

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HR Solutions (06-Nov-13)

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## adrianh

The only thing I can do is to leave the kid with foreign ways  alone and not to engage in debates regarding the strangeness of those ways.

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Dave A (06-Nov-13)

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## HR Solutions

> They don’t need my permission


Yep and please remember that - we are entitled to our opinion.

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## tec0

> Yep and please remember that - we are entitled to our opinion.


People also have a right to life don't you know... but I digress. More to the point if am the big bad bully then please delete my profile contributions and so on. If I am guilty then I must accept it and move on. I am not without my mistakes but I am not without reason. 

and no it is not just about me... I cannot imagine how-many hopefuls go home never knowing why and how processes that they may or may not know off effected there heading.         

That is why I am thankful of this forum because I got a "real world education here". I know now what my chances are. 

DaveA if you want to put this mutt [me] to sleep no hard-feelings  :Smile:

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## adrianh

@HR - remember the days when we were in primary school and some guy at the back of the class kept throwing bits of paper at us... If you ignore them long enough they eventually give up. There is no point in showing a horse the way to the watering hole when it is on a quest to die of thirst. Don't engage in a tit for tat...it's not worth the effort.

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## HR Solutions

G'night .........

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## desA

Relative length scales (1-10):

Tec0  = 10
Adrianh  = 10
Hr Solutions = 10

All sorted? Now, who's going to go round & scrub the house clean - removing all traces of the spat - & repair threads destroyed in the process? Dave A.

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## Dave A

> Now, who's going to go round & scrub the house clean - removing all traces of the spat - & repair threads destroyed in the process? Dave A.


I've done what I can for your new education thread, Des. Unfortunately some of the more heated posts also make valid, on-topic points, so they had to stay. And there's also the need to maintain some level of continuity.

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## HR Solutions

> Now, who's going to go round & scrub the house clean - removing all traces of the spat


Why ??

Its pointless removing only portions ........ why not delete the entire thread ?

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## pmbguy

Wow I never thought this would happen but it looks like everybody has cooled off. Dave I think you did it! Well done. 

Just one more thing..... you would make a great politician, unfortunately you are white...shame :Stick Out Tongue:

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## Dave A

My chances of success are nil without everyone stepping back and seeing the bigger picture, and from there looking after their end.

My sincere thanks to all involved for taking the issue seriously and making the adjustments needed.

Onward and upward  :Smile:

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